November 22, 2005

Waking up is hard to do!

Breaking up is tragic and legitimately hard--most will concede...but man, oh man, waking up is hard for me.

No matter how many jobs I hold and no matter how early in the job-having-enthusiasm I stand, I will never become a morning person. Such is the unfortunate circumstance of my birth.

Melodrama aside--I hate mornings. They are the devil.
I repeat. Mornings are the devil.

Insert commercial:
Thank you, baby Jesus, for Starbucks Java Chip Frappuccino and skim, White Chocolate Mocha with a extra shot of espresso. Makes the whole wake-up process, mildly tolerable--the $5 caffeine dependent reward system I've oh-so-creatively--albeit monetarily-draining devised.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

p.s. host IS very melodramatic, at ~all times~. Whew! Been intending to point that out for a while now.
Glad it wasn't me who said it first.


Also, seems like she has a lot of friends who want to conjure up/accuse her of 'phantom chemistry' with unsuitable guys. First that Shiv thing, now me. . .

Sweet & Vicious said...

No friend of mine would "link" fairly cruel with me...definitely a foe--rather an innocent, unwitting reader.

As for melodrama...it's what keeps you reading--if it isn't, you're welcome to stop!

Anonymous said...

Boys Want Sex In The Morning

Boys want
Sex in the morning
Sex in the morning
When I'm not my best
Boys want
Sex in the morning
Sex in the morning
Tearing at my breast
Boys want
Someone who's winsome
Someone to pin
Someone to undertake
Boys want
Someone to fall on
Someone to crawl on
Someone half awake

Boys want
Sex in the morning
Sex in the morning
Covers at my knees
Boys want
Rotten conditions
Passive positions
I am a trapeze
Boys want
Someone who's sleepy
Someone who's keeping
Nothing in too deep
Boys want
Somebody first hand
Someone to burst
And then go back to sleep

There is nothing I like better
Than a jostle now and then
With the hands under the sweater
And the back that starts to bend
But before my eyes are open
I don't want to have to hide
From a simpleton still poking
With a thimbleful of pride

Boys want
Sex in the morning
Sex in the morning
Soiling the sheets
Boys want
Sex while I'm yawning
Suddenly spawning
When I'm half asleep
Boys want
Someone unconscious
Somebody not just
Waiting for a thrill
Boys want
Sex with surprises
Sex with sunrises
Someone on the pill

There is nothing like a lover
Who can satisfy your needs
And the joy when you discover
Just how often he succeeds
But before my eyes can focus
I don't need him to surprise
By descending like a locust
On a field of sleeping thighs

Boys want
Sex in the morning
Sex in the morning
When I'm still not fresh
Boys want
Something that strikes them
Someone who likes them
Fondling their flesh
Boys want
Someone to take and
Someone to break and
Comment on their size
Boys want
Someone to prod and
Someone who'll nod
And then just close her eyes

Anonymous said...

don't forget the peppermint mocha! lovelovelove it... totally my indulgence when the morning looks like it'll be particularly bad...

Sweet & Vicious said...

I'm diggin' the song...lyrics at least--who knows what screaming band of boys strums angry electric guitars to it...styx was it?

Wonder how I can link it to the blog?

Anonymous said...

"the inessential uncle bonsai" is the band. they had a number of creative indie hits