My --isms

There are things that I'm wont to say that consistently amuse my listeners.

Spin it to win it.
Fake it to make it.
Love it or leave it.
Livin' the dream (ok, that's the banker anthem)

You're a BIG envelope! (that's ONLY funny to me)

makes me wanna SHRED my insides (I stole that from Tracey who stole it from TV)
I need that about as much as a fish needs an umbrella/bicycle (Thanks, Tracey for watching so much TV)

Indian, puh-lease! (a derivative of "Nigga, please!")
What's brown done for you lately? (Thanks to UPS)
Ask not what brown can do for you, but what you can do for brown. (JFK's speechwriter is my inspiration)

Betta you than me..betta you than me (ok, that one's not original--but it's a classic!)
What's your trauma?
Better dead than pregnant. (coined today)