Frames of Reference

I spent the majority of last night IMing the Bombay Boy, D'Souza, in lieu of sleeping. We typed extensively about music--specifically music we like--well, it turns out there was much overlap. Why that is a good sign I can't explain, I can only say that it is an excellent omen.

We had a short chat about identity...cultural identity specifically which transitioned into a discussion about religion. A conversation that led to us finding more consensus than stuff ot argue about--it was an odd turnaround from the verbal jousting that has come to define our interactions. Though he is exclusively Indian in his relation to the globe and I have more of a struggle given my history of Western influence--his terms were simpler than mine--we came to see similarities in our differences or perhaps just agreed to disagree with little ado.

Shortly after that point I felt it time to drop the No-Baby-Mama bomb. He took it remarkably well. Most guys either lose interest or feign understanding, he did neither. This is not to say I've elevated his interest in any way, but I thik he got it. He didn't insult my intelligence by suggesting I would change my mind, nor did he express his deep-seated desire for offspring of his own...he got that it was about me and he respected it. I have no idea where he actually stands on babies, but I know that he is very clear on where I stand--which was the POINT. How refreshing!

In my heart I've always felt that the tradition of shared roots bound people closer--it bridges the gaps in communication we inevitably face--and with D'Souza I felt last night that this belief was validated.

He doesn't put people in boxes like I do*. I like that.
He calls me out on my shit. I respect that.
He claims he can and will be gone in 60 seconds. I recognize that...but if I don't believe that--I'm in BIG trouble, because I'm a girl with abandonmnent issues and he's a guy with a track record of the silent good-bye. Not good!


*I have so much to process--like laundry--so I sort in my haste to clean to ensure the colors don't bleed.