Hiding

I've been in hibernation this week!

Avoided calls from everyone that has called. Haven't left the apartment except to run to the mailbox to get netflix or the grocery store across the street for food.

In becoming a recluse I just realized that what I'm really doing is I'm hiding. From everyone in my life. Well, except my room-mate she's hard to hide from given the NYC size of our apartment.

I'm not sure why. I don't want to be the Ross Gellar of the group with a "another day another job" claim to name fame. But yet I find myself in this predicament where I quit jobs, usually within the six month marker. My staying power, rather my on-the-job threshold is low. Very low.

In all my graduate studies on motivation, I've come to see I lack intrinsic motivation or enough of it to actually stick. The thing is...no one tells you how to get it back or in my case why it didn't auto-install. The extrinsic motivation can only keep me stagnating for so long. It's the ultimate manifestation of my flight response....of my unwillingness, nay inability, to commit.

Where do I buy the most updated version and how do I manually install intrinsic motivation?