Standards

There are many theories on attachment. I have studied my share of them and to put it in laymen terms: with face time attachment grows. I've seen this phenomenon time and time again with friends. The more time you spend with a friend, the stronger your friendship. The question then is this: do you spend more time with them because you enjoy them or do they start to grow on you over time?

Do you excuse their irksome idiosyncracies, now filing them under quaint quirks because you like them or they've become a habit/an addiction you don't want to quit...at least not just yet? The answer is simple, usually...one or the other, but once you've been friends for a long long time, the answer is blurred by nostalgia--shared moments of despair and euphoria that bind you past the initial circumstance.
As always my interest in this topic delves to the man folk--the non-platonic variety--and how my attachment to them is oft colored in this way. The reason I am currently examining this illustrates a maturity on my part--an eageress to be aware and overcome my inherent nature to befriend whomever as long as they aren't ill-wishers.

The truth of my exclusivity with women has not transcended to men and off late I find myself wondering why. I said this to an ex and he concurred, "I'm very easy to fall in love with but damn difficult to keep on loving, day in and day out." I think expressing that and having him agree cemented a fundamental bias in my thinking against myself.

While men come and go, your friends are forever. This typed, there's no reason to exempt the men for now from the standards of later...why do I do that? Is it because I know they can't measure up? Is it because my commitment fears will be called out if they actually do?