November 5, 2005

Invasion of Privacy

Ditha loves to jump into bed with me and boyfriends of mine. There's a particular story she loves to tell on this topic. It transpired at one of our house parties when my then boyfriend and I snuck into my room (which is always off-limits/the coatroom at our parties) for a little "private" time, Ditha romped in and dove into bed with us. In the manner puppy or small child crawls into bed with you. This would not have been a problem if other drunken guests hadn't followed her cue. When she felt overcrowded she simply got off the pile and loped off. I was not afforded this luxury. It must be added that I was under the covers and not wearing any pants through the duration of this incident.

I didn't think it was funny at the time and I certainly did not think it was funny when she retold it to her now "boyfriend" (I use the term loosely). I don't have many boundaries with Ditha but being an only child I prize my space. It is my sanctuary and my private, personal sphere. I don't think this is unique to me, but different people have different boundaries. I certainly respect her space and her room with the level of respect I wish returned to me. I also think the story as she told it authorized him to act as he proceeded to.

This morning at 3:34am when her boyfriend and she got home from a night out(admittedly drunk, but I don't condone or justify behavior under the influence: take responsibility, irrespective of condition. If you are that inept drunk, don't drink!). He came barging into my room while I was asleep and climbed into bed next to me--trying to rouse and engage me in conversation. I had a 9am class this morning. Suffice to say I was not happy. Ditha was protesting some, I was asleep and when roused proceeded to feign sleep, though she climbed into bed with us, momentarily, before dragging him out of my room.

This morning as I was racing out the door to class, late as usual. Ditha's overnight guest proceeds to banter with me and laugh up the events of the evening. When he saw that I was not laughing or even engaging with him, he switched gears and pretended not to remember the evening prior, explaining that Ditha had notified him of his drunk doings. Neither party apologized to me. I confronted neither. I chose to leave and opted for Ditha's preferred mode of dealing with conflict: avoidance.

I know the pressing question is why I didn't lock my door. Well, the answer to that is simple. My door does not have a lock on it. Living in a one bedroom convertible the expectation is that privacy will not be required.

It should also be noted that I often sleep naked. This is my prerogative and a personal preference. Thankfully at the time I had a t-shirt on and blanket wrapped around me, but what if I hadn't? Am I not allowed to sleep naked if my door is sealed shut but unlocked because I have a roomie?

I am not motivated to discuss this with Ditha, but if I let this go...what next?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

uhhh. You sooo need a man's bed to sleep in. See my subsequent comments (above).