The Story of Shiv

Unlike me, V remained consistent in his choice of college roomie--Shiv. Shiv and I had a bumpy start and continue to experience rough patches along the way, but we are friends.

In college, Shiv slacked almost as much as I did, except while I went out to party and do the sorority thing he caught up with work. He changed majors from Chem E. to Econ junior year and found his true calling, I have yet to find mine--but I kept having fun.

Shiv introduced me to music--like me--once he finds a song, he has a tedency to play it on repeat on his computer till he tires of it. To this day, Outkast "Sorry Miss Jackson" brings back memories of crawling out of bed at noon to Shiv knocking on V's door, arguing about take-out, dialing it in, watching mind-numbing TV till V got back from class--cleaning up and heading to dinner, anywhere but the caf. We built this sibling dynamic or so I thought...

Shiv moved up here to be a hotshot i-banker after graduation. His hours were laborious, his free time miniscule--I hardly saw him, but he called me frequently for ride and talks (as the company car drove him home between 11pm-1am, he called me to kill commute time and check in). I was surprised I registered enough on his post collegiate scale to warrant consistent attention, but I thought nothing of it.

Shiv is a bit of a gossip monger--a quality we love to hate about him--but thanks to him we always know what's up with who, since when...

Here is Shiv's story: About a year ago, his friends began teasing him with the notion that I harbored a secret crush on him-which he bought with no confirmation or conversation with me. Confused and afraid, he stopped talking to me. A few months went by and I started dating "the devil" seriously whence Shiv resumed contact.

At first I thought nothing of it, but when questioned he filled me in on the story. I was enraged. Knowing him well enough not to bruise his fragile ego I didn't "poooh pooh" the notion hard--at least not with the rib-aching laughter it deserved--just made clear I had never had such intentions.

I should point out that I never once went off on a tangent on how Shiv had a crush on me, when everyone I know including my mother frequently teased me with this. I knew and still know better than to malign our innocent dealings with any hint of sexual tension--the maturity would give way to fits of giggling.

Now, the reason all this resurfaces is that my annoyance at said going-on came into play earlier this week, when he IMed me from London--where he is temporarily posted--and this issue re-emerged. He apparently still holds true that I "liked" him and no amount of clear explanation on my part to the contrary permeates his thick skull. He tries to get me to "admit" it. Now, you tell me--wouldn't you be pissed?
He stops talking to me based on a crazy assumption, when it is denied let's it go but continues to believe it as meritorious--then wants me to admit to it, when I've gone over how it is NOT TRUE!

Why do I care so much you ask? This lady doth not protest enough...

Shiv and I have this sibling rivalry thing--and I HATE--HATE--HATE when he claims a moral victory over me. Inevitably, in issues where I am passionate I get emotional and get docked too many points for a clear win. This is personal and I will not lose, even to his mental construct.

Now that he has found the perfect woman--yay!--I think I can say this without hurting his feelings enough to send him traveling in a psychogenic fugue: If Shiv was the last man alive I would not date him because I am not attracted to him. It would feel like incest. Also because I could not maintain a straight face at the thouoght of us locked in a passionate embrace.

Shiv is my friend. I am glad that he's finally dating someone he really likes: he's a picky bloke. I'd love to meet this perfect woman and bask in the glow of their love. There is something electric about being in the company of true love. Real. Strong. Timeless love. I want all my friends to find that, ideally after I do, but I don't begrudge a few passing me on the track.

I hope we will always be friends. He brings out my competitive spirit which lies dormant till it is challenged and poked from just the right angle. I'm past being irked by this and embrace it for the value it adds in my type B existence.