February 8, 2006

Not on Men

Gloves
Scarves (unless gifted by a gf)
Squeaky voices--I know this can't be helped, but it's still damn annoying
Jewelery (especially gems--not even in rings)
LONG HAIR (leave ponytails to the ponies)
Popping bubble gum
Public Preening (combing those locks, fussing with clothes)
Nail biting--alright, this is just irksome on ANYONE
NOT drinking--yes, I'm a lush so you must be too!
Being a picky eater, specifically ordering salad as a meal--I'd like to meet the woman who disagrees with this statement.
Criticizing what someone else is wearing--um, have you SEEN your outfit? more importantly, why are you peeling your eyes off me?
Preferring ANY movie to one with violent explosions and general fun
NOT liking ANY sports--do these guys even exist?


All this being said, all bets are off if the man is gay--because then I'm not trying to find him attractive--sadly, 9 times out of 10 he just IS attractive.

Also most anal tendencies when exhibited by men lose their neurotic cuteness--I hold that women and their neuroses, on some level, attract men to them. It's a self selection of sorts. Can I handle her brand of crazy? Ladies, let's not lie--we're all a lil' bit nuts, admittedly in our own special way(s).

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aren't you being a little harsh when it comes to gloves & scarves? We all need to protect ourselves from the elements, right?

Anonymous said...

that gloves and scarf shit is way off base.

we're not fat-bodies and can't use blubber to insulate ourselves.

i understand the writers' motto of 'write what you know' but you're wrong on this one.