Negative Nancy

Tommy and I have nicknames for one another now.

He is Negative Ned and I am Negative Nancy. We've been steeped in negativity off late, between apartment hunting fruitlessly and going on one lousy first date after another. It seems a lifetime ago that I went on a second date...by this I mean, after a first date my inclination is to NEVER see the person again for as long as I live.

Apparently my low standards are not LOW enough: specificity being the devil.
My short checklist is as follows:
Tall
Skinny
Full head of hair--spiky preferred
Smart as Hades
Beaked nose and crooked teeth=bonus

Literally...that's it! That's ALL I'm looking for--I see these chaps milling about but it seems I'm going to have to steal someone's boyfriend to get it to work out for me.