Non-Dating

Zayan and I broke up a little over 3 years ago. Despite that reality, he's as close to a soul-mate as I think I may get in this lifetime. Not because our love was eternal but because we have that much in common. I have never felt so completely at conversational comfort with anyone in my life. We have the same pop culture references and that is only the beginning of our shared interests. While he is much more politically savvy and interested than I am, he's also infinitely better read. The only child-ness of us created for a great deal of "ME" time. Thus the issue in the relationship department which is wholly alleviated in the friendship department.

We've been non-dating but engaging in behavior that from the outside would appear to be dating for the last 4-6 months. We go to dinner, independent films, book readings and more book readings. We're, in fact, going to Barnes and Noble in Union Square tomorrow to hear his idol--Salman Rushdie--read from his latest book. He wrote his senior thesis on Midnight's Children which I stopped 100 pages shy of finishing--just couldn't get myself to plough through--but so close to the end. Incidentally, Top Chef host Padmalakshmi used to be married to said writer not too long ago. I digress.

It's unnerving for the intensity of the spark you once shared with someone--someone you spent angst encased years believing to be the one--to evaporate into oblivion. It's weirder still being friends with an ex with no desire or potential for ex sex.

Ex Sex is the best...yet here I am, not wanting or having any of it. What the hell is up with me?