The moniker bestowed on me by Zayan on the card attached to the silver wine bag that held my fave vodka when he came out to the house on June 27 has stuck in my head...
Shouldn't it be Hamptons Honey?
I'm not suggesting it's an apt title but I like it. A lot.
Don't worry this isn't a relapse in the making--trust me--
As we sat at Birdie's last week scarfing down fried chicken and eviscerating one another's love lives--me more so than him--I felt a twinge of sorrow at the loss of any romantic inclination towards Z. Now, I realize this is a good thing but for so long I had believed that he was the one for me and perhaps I would know the flame that burned eternal in my dealings with him. This is just not so. Despite the positive mental health factor, it's a romantic rumination that's been ruined.
Combine this reality with my tepid temperament towards D'Souza, I'm burning through exes. I, as someone who has always prided herself on maintaining good post-relationship dealings, suddenly find myself in the shoes of the masses--longing to cut off all ties to these people and generally pretend they never happened to me. Alright, so that's a bit extreme but it's not wholly inaccurate. My version of letting go has been to hold a long thick string tied to the ex's wrist and stand behind a pressurized NYC wall. I'm contemplating dropping the string and leaving the apartment.
Wow. Is that personal growth? Is that maturity? Or is it just "that I've been dating for 10 years and my hair hurts"?
I think the title says it all...depends on the mood--my mood!
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6 comments:
I'm the same way in one respect: all through college I had great 'friend status' afterwards with anyone I had been intimate with.
Later on, I realized it was easy to do. They were light relationships. Affectionate, but not deep.
The ones which really hurt, yeah I didn't ever want to see that person again. Just 2 cents.
Anyway, I think the Zayan reflections are indicative of one thing: as intelligent as you are, you maybe have some blind spot when it comes to knowing what you need/want! Hard to swallow, but likely true.
On the other hand, stating that once upon a time you 'thought you had an eternal flame for Z.' (which now seems outlandish) shows that you are gradually learning more about yourself.
I tell ya, girls have a lot of strange notions to clear out of their heads when they're very young. It takes a long time to start seeing men as they really are, rather than wreathed in some illusion.
So, you're in your "stormy twenties" right now, and reaping the whirlwind. Don't worry. Remain calm. In my experience, most American women really only get grounded when they're in their mid-thirties. You'll get there.
Have you really been dating ten years straight?
Yes. I actually have been involved with men in some romantic context for 10 consecutive years--7 of which were in monogamous relationships with 3 different people--but the frenzied dating in between was making up for all that settled down time. Madness.
I think I'm very clear on what I want but only slowly learning what I can live with. There is a reason the adage warns to be careful what you wish for--wanting and needing are different things--just as wanting and sustaining are separate entities.
Being smart doesn't equate to figuring out interpersonal goings-on...that comes with experience and patience. Those are my 5 cents.
well that's what I mean. when I said 'smart', i mean you are highly self-reflective. the irony is that sometimes even this great facility doesn't prevent blind spots. i guess that's why there's therapists to help us all out.
but yah I agree its a very important lesson to learn just 'what items on the plate' you can actually live on as a diet.
they seem to get smaller and less nourishing all the time.
p.s. fave vodkas in descending order
imported (real)
ketel one
svetlan
level
grey goose
stoly
smirnoff
foul vodkas:
belvedere
georgi
banker's club
I like Svedka--real bang for the buck--Stoli Raspberri with Club Soda is one of my signature cocktails. Finlandia's not half bad either. Vox is ok, but their bottle is by far the coolest--much like make-up some consumers just buy it for the packaging.
I also love Bailey's on Ice--not digging this Shiver movement--It's not a slurpee, people. But I'm not a frozen drinks gal...my only weakness on that count is pina coladas...and there was a period of time I downed mudslides like they were frappuccinos.
Don't forget Gordons and Ruble on the foul vodka list. YEESH. Never buy liquor in a plastic bottle. Gag reflex kicking in...
Svedka! Thats' what I meant. Not Svetlan. Ty, ty.
In general, I am known as a guy who can hold his liquor. A good trick I've learned, is to never drink cheaper booze. Not worth it. Thus, I never get sick (maybe once in five years) and never get a hangover. Oh and for some reason massive amounts of grog doesn't impair me in bed.
I'm pretty sensitive to understanding when too much intake, is too much intake. Good feel for that threshold. And never mix liquors of course.
I also drink very fast though: usually discover I have downed 11 beers to someone's 2.
l8r!
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