November 9, 2005

Peace Restored

Ditha and I have been tip-toeing around one another since "Invasion of Privacy" over the weekend.

This evening I returned home to a card on my door: Ditha redeems herself. I felt my fury melting at the mere gesture. Who knew I was a big softie?

It must be noted that my natural instinct in conflict is to write a note/card/post-it. I find this most cathartic, if that is not possible I write about it in a diary, which this blog has become.

The crux of the note is an invitation to a sit-down conversation on what transpired and a heartfelt (or adequately convincingly heaartfelt) apology from Ditha. It made me realize that so much of my outrage was for her not accepting responsibility for what happened, not to say what happened was acceptable.

I must admit a part of me feels small and immature for not initiating this conversation already. How long could this have gone on? Left to my devices, perhaps till Ditha left for India. I can be damn obstinate. I'm not even sure what it was I was holding onto so tightly in not making contact. I guess it was my unconscious way of diffusing the dynamic we've built. Where I enable her to depend on me to do the mature thing? Let's call it what it is: co-dependcy. I need her to need me and she in turn needs me to baby her. It's a system we built together and I have to take responsibility for my part in it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That does indeed sound very immature and petty (the entire episode, not referring to any one person in particular).

How old are you two?
Sheeeeesh, the things girls put themselves through. 'Silent treatments' and 'sticky notes' etc.

How can anyone get into an argument with an indian girl anyway? They are usually so passive.

Final thought: living with roommates, itself, is ~lame~. What a drag. At all costs, it is better to be captain of your own ship.