Elev-ation Etiquette

Elev-ation or elevator conversation is a form of communication that ranks high on the chit-chat scale.

The social awkwardness of sharing an elevator, large or small, with just one person is a phenomenon I am certain you have experienced. This is particularly needing finesse in an office elevator given the networking nature of most rides.

The other morning I was the victim of zero elev-ation. As the elevator climbed the 22 floors to my cubicle, I was stuck in the elevator with a middle-aged man who fidgeted like a pre-pubescent on a first date. He didn't speak to me and I was weary of him wetting his pants if I started a conversation. I am not implying he was that excited to share my space, but the level of obvious awkwardness he was experiencing at the notion of elev-ation made it uncomfortable to be inhaling the same box of oxygen.

Usually, elevators are packed at rush hours and any elev-ation is downright rude--because it excludes the majority of people in the elevator and it creates unnecessary noise pollution. Also, I don't care what little Johnny did last night at soccer practice. This said, I'm not suggesting one should maintain a code of strict silence on the sacred trip in the magical steel contraption. The right volume and proximity to the person you are conversing with is critical if you wish to be polite and un-intrusive.

Drunken elev-ation is the best, but again be cognizant of the sober people sharing your ride. They didn't choose to be there--they needed to get upstairs/downstairs too. That said, zero patience/sympathy for able-bodied people who ride the elevator up one flighr or even two and complain about who's sharing their space. YOU HAVE LEGS--USE THEM.