Ron Jeremy

Tommy and I were coming home from Off the Wagon after a few fruitless games of beer pong when I spied Ron Jeremy sitting at an outdoor table with some of his co-workers at the Olive Tree Cafe. There we are moseying down W. 3rd and the most famous male porn star of all time is just sitting there eating and drinking like normal folk. I made the connection quicker than Tom--not a fact I'm proud of but it is what it is. In my defense, it was the Sublime song that got me wondering who Ron Jeremy was...that's the ONLY reason I know who he is...that and the copious amounts of porn I watched in after school in lieu of those ABC specials--with my gay then best friend and Tracey.

We must say that Ron is just as unattractive IN person as he is on screen. The bunny-type women with him had incredibly bleached hair and lacked pretty in the face department--but I guess they don't make the big bucks for their big smiles.

We walked by and walked back but before I could secure an autograph, a troupe of drunken girls descended on him--cameras in hand. The only thing to outdo that would be to have him sign a body part and being from Jersey coupled with the extreme trashiness of this endeavor kept me in check. Here are some of things Tom said to encourage me to show some boob: "When are you EVER going to see him again...LIVE?" and "I'll tell everyone we know you talked to him. This is a story to top many stories." I'd like to report my dignity is intact.