Couples' Guilt

Maybe it's naivete, maybe it's narcicissm or maybe I do love drama and this is my way of ensuring it for life--but I just can't cut someone who likes me out of my life. This is a problem I've recently resolved on the ex-boyfriend scene but one I'm struggling to smooth over in my recently coupled state on the former suitor front.

Now, I'm not conceited. Really, I'm not. A healthy self-confidence aside, I really don't think I warrant a ton of attention from the darker sex. That disclaimer notwithstanding, I have yet to cut ties with Indian Christian, the Dog Watcher, or even LawyerMan.

The Dog Watcher is aware that I have a boyfriend and proclaims complete comfort with a platonic friendship which I hasten to take at face value but my gut tells me he's merely biding his time.

Indian Christian has never professed his true intentions toward me or made a move since our "courtship" which began shortly after Thanksgiving. He did give me very thoughtful Christmas presents this evening: three Razr phone skins and a fresh motorola battery since my cell phone is my life. However, the fact that he pays for drinks despite my protests and always offers me his arm as I jaunt down the street may signal an old-fashioned notion of "dating". How do I tell him I'm with Irish without it getting back to mom? His family and mine have taken to spending the holidays together--while those are now behind us--clearly they are the ties that bind...and this case, chafe.

Lawyerman is a different matter altogether. He serves no real function other than to inflate my ego plus he has a girlfriend/ex with whom he is "sorting things out"--so while I maintain complete transparency on that frontier--I'm not convinced our conversations have boundaries appropriate for live communication. So far we've managed a strictly cyber relationship, ex post facto...but recent talk has turned to face-to-face interaction and I'm torn between proving to myself that there is nothing there and risking a nascent but beautiful thing I have with Irish. EEK.

Yes, clearly--as Tracey puts it and she does put it often--"JUST STOP IT!"