Let's talk about Sex

I called a Meru Taxi to pick me up at 8:30am for my day of training with the Bombay Psychiatric Society in Goregoan. Roughly a 30 minute drive from my grandparents flat in Bandra West. Shantram, my trusty driver, was a quiet man with a wiry moustache and receding hairline. On the return trip at 3:30pm, the 30 minute ride stretched to 45 minutes and somewhere past Bandra-Kurla complex my laborious Hindi grew more fluid as talk turned from chit-chat to the degredation of Indian youth, particularly in the types of unsavory activities they indulged in within the backseat--where I was at the time seated. Shudder.

Anyway, somewhere between chastisizing the state of Indian affairs brought on by the Western influence, Shantram informed me of my prolific moral standing as a young person, albeit of advanced age in the non-marital bracket. He said (in English), "Sex is not bad." Then continued in Hindi, "But it's the lack of good choices in partners and the absence of good judgement in taking that step that is leading to all these problems." He has 10 children in his village of which 6 survive today. He's 45 years old. He said that he continues to share a bed with his wife for his month-long vacation and he doesn't seen any reason for that to change in the years to come. Especially not that she is no longer of child bearing years, the joy of the undertaking is only sweetened by the lack of repercussions.

When I mentioned birth control, he didn't seem to believe me. He said, "Children just happen. It's not something you plan." I wasn't sure at all how to respond to that in a culturally sensitive way, so I took the entirely relativist approach of suggesting that perhaps that should NOT be the case.

The State Shuttle driver who collected me from EWR to drive me to my mom's lakehouse upon arrival back into these United States was a jolly, chatty fellow. I made the mistake of telling him I already had my PhD in Clinical Psychology and he immediately informed me of his affinity for the science. He insisted, "People interested in Psychology are crazy in some way or there is a crazy person in their famly who piqued their interest. So, which one are you?" I'm still not sure what the answer to that question is...but I am still thinking about it.

After some insight into his father's bipolar disorder, he switched to a conversation about intimacy and the importance of multiple partners for him to feel fulfilled. He spoke briefly about his divorce and his fears for his upcoming nuptials not being significantly different despite his current fianceee being clear on his BDSM needs and the absence of monogamy. I was glad he wasn't seeking my counsel but I was surprised at how easily he shared. Somehow, the very mention of psychotherapy and people just want to talk about sex.

Is life really that Freudian in its simplicity of eros and thanatos?
My recent rides on two continents certainly seem to say so.