Forbes Falls Flat

My first official date with Forbes went aigh. Yeah, I'm usually one for extremes but he just left me feeling AIGH.

He picked me up from work. That part was fine.

We walked over to the Chelsea art galleries for free wine and to view art. That part could have involved a lot less kissing and a lot more walking. It was raining and he didn't do a great job of keeping the umbrella over my head. Also, good thing I had an umbrella because he had conveniently not brought one along.

At the first gallery, he was ignorant. He looked around with the attitude "That's it?" Which I found rude. I mean perhaps another guy could have pulled that off and made it snarky but not him. Additionally in lieu of speaking to the artist standing beside the wine, he grabbed a cup and stalked off. Definitely rude.

At the second gallery he wised up to the fact that I wasn't into being pawed in public and actually drank a few Stellas and commented on the art. This was perhaps the best part of the evening. After sneaking a roadie into his jacket, we hopped a cab to his building on Wall St. under the guise of him teaching me to shoot pool.

He was an arrogant prick in his dealings with the cabbie. He also pawed at me to an uncomfortable degree in the cab to the point that the cab driver asked me if I was alright due to the ridiculous amount of pawing.

Of course, as soon as we got to The Crest, the tour of the building ended in his apartment. I stood my ground and didn't enter the bedroom but we ordered from Indian Express online and had to stay at the apt. till it was delivered.

His roomie's dog (supposedly!) is a Bichon/Maltese mix that wouldn't shut up and had the worst case of tear staining about the eyes. The dog also managed to poop everywhere except his wee wee pad during the course of my brief visit. UGH. Made me appreciate my Luckey infinitely, let me tell you. INFINTELY.

So after some heavy duty, high school style, couch making out which he kept trying to escalate to full fledged petting, he suggested I ease up with the nails in his back. At that point, I'd felt more than a little poke come through on me--let's say he's hung like a squirrel--so I used that semi-insult as my cue to storm out and avoid confirm just how squirrely he was.

He texted me before coming after me. This part wasn't so bad because at the end of the day I need a guy that will come after me. But on a first date, a first fight just seems waaaaaaay out of place....of course, the size of his ego in proportion to his mango also seemed to be an ill-fit.

We went down to Ulysees for a few drinks. Dark&Stormies in fact and chatted for a while. I realized that he had no substance. Other than pawing me, he wasn't able to hold up his end of the conversation let alone initiate it. What little interest I had left at that point evaporated.

My boredom coupled with my annoyance at being pawed incessantly led me to call it a night. He insisted on walking me to the subway which I insisted on taking, however midway there Tommy texted me to say the bachelor (college buddy getting married in Canada this weekend) and he were a few blocks away boozing at my old abode. I let Forbes walk me there and kissed him goodbye before shutting the door in his face. Happy to be rid of a boring guy, I basked in the glow of good guy friends and Jose Cuervo.

Tommy's newest roomie, while young, weird and Southern, is so so cute. I enjoy our limited interactions...in the hopes that one day we'll make out and I'll be over the cuteness and focused on the weirdness.