Unlike the average blogger pushing Obama and aching for change, I'm looking for some feedback on whether or not I'm over reacting to an incident that took place earlier this month.
October 16, 2008
10:45pm
Friendly phone call from an ex I hadn't spoken to in over 2 weeks.
HE mentions my upcoming birthday and tells me he has TWO presents for me which he doesn't want to give me until my ACTUAL birthday.
11:55pm
Drunk ex appears at my doorstep.
We take the dogs for a walk in the park.
We keep drinking.
HE asks if he can take my folks and I to Pastis. I say nothing.
HE mentions my birthday again.
October 17, 2008
8:45am
Ex goes to work.
I sleep in.
October 18, 2008
No calls/texts/e-mails from said Ex. None.
October 28, 2008
2:14pm
Text from Ex: Wanna grab some dinner/drinks?
5:55pm
Voicemail: Hey! It's me. Just calling to see how you're doing. Want to get some dinner or drinks (pause) tonight? Give me a call back. Thanks.
October 29, 2008
I'm livid.
Questions:
1.How wrong is it for him to BRING up my birthday less than 24 hours BEFORE my birthday (make a big deal of it) then NOT communicate with me until 10 days AFTER my birthday (making no mention whatsoever of said birthday)?
2. Should I even bother calling him back? I mean...what's the point. Clearly he doesn't think he did anything wrong, so what's the point of bringing up how hurt I am by his inconsiderate, selfish, rude behavior.
3. If we are supposed to be friends, how could he possibly treat me this way? Before you even pose the question would I react as extremely if a friend of mine did this as opposed to an ex, the answer is HELL yes. In fact, I'd be calling them up and screaming at them. But the reality is that he didn't forget, he TOLD me he wanted to do something and then completely DISREGARDED me on my special day. WTF?
Oh yeah, Vote for Obama. Go 4 Change!
October 29, 2008
October 19, 2008
I roared in my 20s!
Yesterday was my 28th birthday.
I woke up at 7am, crammed for the Psych GRE and was perplexed by the full 6 train steaming downtown. Took the test from 9-11:30am at the Silver Center at NYU. Fingers crossed for a good score in 6 weeks. I can never tell how these things go. A poor judge of self-performance. Hrumph.
Took the pups to Central Park for the annual Country Dog Fair--sponsored this year by Rachel Ray's Nutrish--where my Mom and her husband joined me for a few hours.
My mother was kind enough to bring me the flu shot which she administered herself. Happy Birthday to me.
We went to dinner at Pastis where my mom was drunk off one Gin Punch--anything in a martini glass will do her in. I had a few Dark and Stormies and felt nothing. The steak frites were fabulous.
After I sent the fam ferry-ward, I skipped my way to Sweet Revenge where Jo bought me a celebratory Crimson cupcake (their take on the red velvet cupcake with cinnamon to boot) and a glass of white. We then moseyed to the Banksy exhibit--creepy but cool--then slipped into One if by Land, Two if by Sea (OIBLTIBS). The motif reminded me of Candela--wonder if that restaurant still sits in Union Square? I'd forgotten that the only other time I'd been to OIBLTIBS was a romantic dinner with Z circa 2004.
We had one last drink at the Washington Square Hotel--where, in 2006, I first met Jo's former cohabitator who cheated on her in the wake of her father's death--we spent a moment being nostalgic both grateful to have moved past that stage.
I arrived at my abode at 1:30am to watch a DVR-ed episode of Law & Order: SVU before going to bed: officially 28 going on 29.
This is the first birthday I've ended sober in the past decade...am I growing up?
I woke up at 7am, crammed for the Psych GRE and was perplexed by the full 6 train steaming downtown. Took the test from 9-11:30am at the Silver Center at NYU. Fingers crossed for a good score in 6 weeks. I can never tell how these things go. A poor judge of self-performance. Hrumph.
Took the pups to Central Park for the annual Country Dog Fair--sponsored this year by Rachel Ray's Nutrish--where my Mom and her husband joined me for a few hours.
My mother was kind enough to bring me the flu shot which she administered herself. Happy Birthday to me.
We went to dinner at Pastis where my mom was drunk off one Gin Punch--anything in a martini glass will do her in. I had a few Dark and Stormies and felt nothing. The steak frites were fabulous.
After I sent the fam ferry-ward, I skipped my way to Sweet Revenge where Jo bought me a celebratory Crimson cupcake (their take on the red velvet cupcake with cinnamon to boot) and a glass of white. We then moseyed to the Banksy exhibit--creepy but cool--then slipped into One if by Land, Two if by Sea (OIBLTIBS). The motif reminded me of Candela--wonder if that restaurant still sits in Union Square? I'd forgotten that the only other time I'd been to OIBLTIBS was a romantic dinner with Z circa 2004.
We had one last drink at the Washington Square Hotel--where, in 2006, I first met Jo's former cohabitator who cheated on her in the wake of her father's death--we spent a moment being nostalgic both grateful to have moved past that stage.
I arrived at my abode at 1:30am to watch a DVR-ed episode of Law & Order: SVU before going to bed: officially 28 going on 29.
This is the first birthday I've ended sober in the past decade...am I growing up?
October 16, 2008
October 13, 2008
Bye Bye Boarder
It is with a heavy heart that I write this post.
My boarder just texted me:
Hey! I'm on the plane. C u soon then...I hope I have the couch next time I'm in NY. haha. Take care!
It was bittersweet.
This is the first time I've really lived alone despite the fact that D'Souza moved out in May. I was away in the Hamptons in a full house most of the summer. Then the boarder moved in on September 2 when I got back to the city.
Sniffle and wail.
Well, guess I better get cracking on that Psych GRE prep I've been procrastinating on.
My boarder just texted me:
Hey! I'm on the plane. C u soon then...I hope I have the couch next time I'm in NY. haha. Take care!
It was bittersweet.
This is the first time I've really lived alone despite the fact that D'Souza moved out in May. I was away in the Hamptons in a full house most of the summer. Then the boarder moved in on September 2 when I got back to the city.
Sniffle and wail.
Well, guess I better get cracking on that Psych GRE prep I've been procrastinating on.
October 9, 2008
Summer Spoons
A few nights ago Taurean collected me from Joan of Arc Middle School where I'd completed my REACH mentor training and we ambled up Central Park West and across Central Park North till we arrived at my abode in SpaHa where the boarder, his British bud, and my white pups greeted us.
Along the way Mr. Spoons, a loquacious man, eloquently and heart wrenchingly explained to me his emotional mistreatment of Summer, his fiancee, over the duration of their relationship. I listened. I interjected on occassion. Mostly, I just listened. Hearing him extol her virtues made me realize that such men were still among us.
Of course, there are two sides to every tale and Summer's version is tinged with self-loathing brought on by the beating her self-esteem has taken as a result of his seemingly conditional love for her. But during my walk there was only his side of the story and in that side there were no conditions...just love.
Their relationship has seen its share of ups and downs but their willingness to continually renew their commitment to each other has kept them together. I marvel at that.
In my early relationships, I fled in lieu of fighting and in my more recent entanglements I fought to the point of the other fleeing...perhaps the ying to my yang is out there, but at this point I fret for the apparent foolishness of that statement.
Along the way Mr. Spoons, a loquacious man, eloquently and heart wrenchingly explained to me his emotional mistreatment of Summer, his fiancee, over the duration of their relationship. I listened. I interjected on occassion. Mostly, I just listened. Hearing him extol her virtues made me realize that such men were still among us.
Of course, there are two sides to every tale and Summer's version is tinged with self-loathing brought on by the beating her self-esteem has taken as a result of his seemingly conditional love for her. But during my walk there was only his side of the story and in that side there were no conditions...just love.
Their relationship has seen its share of ups and downs but their willingness to continually renew their commitment to each other has kept them together. I marvel at that.
In my early relationships, I fled in lieu of fighting and in my more recent entanglements I fought to the point of the other fleeing...perhaps the ying to my yang is out there, but at this point I fret for the apparent foolishness of that statement.
Cycle 7
With another birthday looming I've decided to adopt the reality TV formula of defining my chronological life in NYC.
Cycle 1 - 2002 (Pilot)
Welcome to NY!
Drinking, dancing, Banker chasing, Happy Hour racing, Starting and Quitting Job I
Cycle 2 - 2003
Tea, Moved Uptown, Single Girl, Startup: Meetup, Traveling through India, Back to School: NYU
Cycle 3 - 2004
NYC Boyfriend, Cape Cod with Mom, Orlando with the Man, Cross Country Girls Roadtrip (DC-LA), Quit NYU, Corporate Grind II
Cycle 4 - 2005
Grad School Take 2: Columbia, Heartbreak 1, Bank Job I, Napa Valley, Single Again
Cycle 5 - 2006
Luckey, Bank II, Moved Downtown: Living with Boys, Unemployment, Quit Columbia, Eastern European Expedition
Cycle 6 - 2007
FOB Boyfriend, Non-profit stint, Cohabitation in SpaHa, Puppy II: Vegas, Contract Legal Job, Life's a Grind
Cycle 7 - 2008
Another Bank-esque Job, SF Visit, Judy the Jeep, Entrepreneurial Effort: Hamptons, Heartbreak II, Briefly Boarding, Volunteerism, Research: Performing and Participating, Career Chosen: Psychologist, Chick Lit Book Club, Part-time Jobs, Flying Solo
TO COME:
Cycle 8 - 2009 (Series Finale)
Visiting family in India
Down-sizing possessions--Driving Judy into the Sunset with Pups
Move AWAY from NYC--Last Tea
Starting Doctoral Study in Clinical Psychology: Full-time Student
Cycle 1 - 2002 (Pilot)
Welcome to NY!
Drinking, dancing, Banker chasing, Happy Hour racing, Starting and Quitting Job I
Cycle 2 - 2003
Tea, Moved Uptown, Single Girl, Startup: Meetup, Traveling through India, Back to School: NYU
Cycle 3 - 2004
NYC Boyfriend, Cape Cod with Mom, Orlando with the Man, Cross Country Girls Roadtrip (DC-LA), Quit NYU, Corporate Grind II
Cycle 4 - 2005
Grad School Take 2: Columbia, Heartbreak 1, Bank Job I, Napa Valley, Single Again
Cycle 5 - 2006
Luckey, Bank II, Moved Downtown: Living with Boys, Unemployment, Quit Columbia, Eastern European Expedition
Cycle 6 - 2007
FOB Boyfriend, Non-profit stint, Cohabitation in SpaHa, Puppy II: Vegas, Contract Legal Job, Life's a Grind
Cycle 7 - 2008
Another Bank-esque Job, SF Visit, Judy the Jeep, Entrepreneurial Effort: Hamptons, Heartbreak II, Briefly Boarding, Volunteerism, Research: Performing and Participating, Career Chosen: Psychologist, Chick Lit Book Club, Part-time Jobs, Flying Solo
TO COME:
Cycle 8 - 2009 (Series Finale)
Visiting family in India
Down-sizing possessions--Driving Judy into the Sunset with Pups
Move AWAY from NYC--Last Tea
Starting Doctoral Study in Clinical Psychology: Full-time Student
Boarder Boards
Last week my boarder informed me that he would be heading back to Karachi, Pakistan on Monday, October 13. I was happy to hear I'd have the place to myself again and sad to note that my weekly non-taxed supplemental income of $125 would soon be a thing of the past.
Before his departure the boarder's childhood friend, a physician from Britain, is staying with us for a week. They spent last weekend and the early part of this week on a road trip to DC via Philly.
Additionally, my Chi-town gal pal is coming to town tomorrow for an NYC weekend...talk about a full 480sq feet.
Good thing we're all adequately brown--everyone is aware of the cramped living and no one finds it odd enough to warrant complaint.
The above statement is only one of the many reasons I don't date white men. Try explaining to one of them why not a shudder to be found at the reality of such close quarters among friends. I call it hospitality without boundaries--kinda like doctors without borders.
Before his departure the boarder's childhood friend, a physician from Britain, is staying with us for a week. They spent last weekend and the early part of this week on a road trip to DC via Philly.
Additionally, my Chi-town gal pal is coming to town tomorrow for an NYC weekend...talk about a full 480sq feet.
Good thing we're all adequately brown--everyone is aware of the cramped living and no one finds it odd enough to warrant complaint.
The above statement is only one of the many reasons I don't date white men. Try explaining to one of them why not a shudder to be found at the reality of such close quarters among friends. I call it hospitality without boundaries--kinda like doctors without borders.
Testees
I've seen ads for a new TV show called Testees a few times now--more accurately I've skipped by them thanks to DVR--and realized that I could qualify to join the ranks of these people.
I'm currently participating in TWO paid research studies:
New York Presbyterian Hospital in Washington Heights
The study is focused on the effect of low-dose birth control on women between 21-30.
8 visits pay a total of $390 over 3 months
Rockefeller University on the Upper East Side
Smell research coinciding with ovulation to discern if a certain pheromone is more potent than others.
4 visits pay out at $220 over 4 months
Testee, indeed!
I'm currently participating in TWO paid research studies:
New York Presbyterian Hospital in Washington Heights
The study is focused on the effect of low-dose birth control on women between 21-30.
8 visits pay a total of $390 over 3 months
Rockefeller University on the Upper East Side
Smell research coinciding with ovulation to discern if a certain pheromone is more potent than others.
4 visits pay out at $220 over 4 months
Testee, indeed!
October 6, 2008
Dating Sucks
Saturday night, I went out with a Jersey-raised, Kanada (Indian), only kid who graduated from Cornell and chooses to live in Jersey City among the FOBS on the grounds that he enjoys having a car and thinks NYC rent is too ridiculous.
Yes. Despite the above statement I went out with him.
We met for a drink at The Other Room at 7:30pm as my original pick, Absolutely 4th had closed. I didn't think much of him making me pick the place but it should have been a sign that he knew nothing. Our first exchange was him extolling the virtues and importance of preparedness in life as opposed to my free-spirited stance on living life for the moment. He went up to get a drink not realizing the spot was cash only and promptly ran out of the joint to get cash without notifying me of any of these proceedings. Two points.
He told me he didn't drink wine and when I requested either a Reisling or Sauvingnon Blanc and he returned with the Reisling, I knew it was because he found that varietal easier to pronounce in my absence. Three points.
After a seemingly blah drink, he suggested dinner and asked again that I pick the place. In the name of politeness and to take the pressure off his city ignorance I proceeded to select a cheap Sri Lankan joint on 1st Ave. As we walked across town, he wouldn't admit to not enjoying the walk and complained as we walked past 6th Ave. "We're leaving the place with all the people. Where are we going?" Sigh. Two points.
Once we arrived at Sigiri at 10:04pm, we chit-chatted for a while and he revealed that he's only dated 2 women in his life and each of those had only lasted a few months. Five points.
He balked at my mom's divorce followed by her marriage to the white man and her utter lack of interest in the culinary arts. Five points.
He also explained that he really didn't enjoy drinking and would never go out on a Tuesday evening for a beer as it was a worknight. Nine points.
He also mentioned that his parents, strict vegetarians, actually prepare his meals which he picks up weekly. Nine points.
At that point I should have just excused myself and gone home....but there was the matter of the check--which we split. Ten points.
Post dinner, we walked down 8th St. then down 6th Ave. and across Houston and came to a stop in front of the carcass of Senor Swanky's because I refused to pick the THIRD place of the evening and he had no idea where we should go. I also didn't want to spend any more time with this provincial prude from poverty town.
Standing and making conversation got boring till he insulted me at which point, I actually smiled turned on my heel and walked east to the 6 without turning back. His grand total of 45 points on the suck-0-meter of bad dating isn't overwhelming. I've been on worse dates and I'm sure there are plenty of dates that are much worse than this one, but the fact remains it was a lousy date.
Dating sucks just as much as I recall.
Yes. Despite the above statement I went out with him.
We met for a drink at The Other Room at 7:30pm as my original pick, Absolutely 4th had closed. I didn't think much of him making me pick the place but it should have been a sign that he knew nothing. Our first exchange was him extolling the virtues and importance of preparedness in life as opposed to my free-spirited stance on living life for the moment. He went up to get a drink not realizing the spot was cash only and promptly ran out of the joint to get cash without notifying me of any of these proceedings. Two points.
He told me he didn't drink wine and when I requested either a Reisling or Sauvingnon Blanc and he returned with the Reisling, I knew it was because he found that varietal easier to pronounce in my absence. Three points.
After a seemingly blah drink, he suggested dinner and asked again that I pick the place. In the name of politeness and to take the pressure off his city ignorance I proceeded to select a cheap Sri Lankan joint on 1st Ave. As we walked across town, he wouldn't admit to not enjoying the walk and complained as we walked past 6th Ave. "We're leaving the place with all the people. Where are we going?" Sigh. Two points.
Once we arrived at Sigiri at 10:04pm, we chit-chatted for a while and he revealed that he's only dated 2 women in his life and each of those had only lasted a few months. Five points.
He balked at my mom's divorce followed by her marriage to the white man and her utter lack of interest in the culinary arts. Five points.
He also explained that he really didn't enjoy drinking and would never go out on a Tuesday evening for a beer as it was a worknight. Nine points.
He also mentioned that his parents, strict vegetarians, actually prepare his meals which he picks up weekly. Nine points.
At that point I should have just excused myself and gone home....but there was the matter of the check--which we split. Ten points.
Post dinner, we walked down 8th St. then down 6th Ave. and across Houston and came to a stop in front of the carcass of Senor Swanky's because I refused to pick the THIRD place of the evening and he had no idea where we should go. I also didn't want to spend any more time with this provincial prude from poverty town.
Standing and making conversation got boring till he insulted me at which point, I actually smiled turned on my heel and walked east to the 6 without turning back. His grand total of 45 points on the suck-0-meter of bad dating isn't overwhelming. I've been on worse dates and I'm sure there are plenty of dates that are much worse than this one, but the fact remains it was a lousy date.
Dating sucks just as much as I recall.
Foosball Plant
Crazy Cooper Union Kids....steam energy infused plant life in recycled foosball tables on St. Marks.
October 5, 2008
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